Alright. from reading my last blog im sure you know that i could have used a really good couple of days away... well this past weekend i went to kari's(my brothers girlfriend) lake house(camp-shack). well it turned out to be a very good break away from everything. if you didnt already know, cell phones dont work at the lake. for like the first 20 minutes i kept on looking at my phone every 20 seconds then it was ok after that. we played some drinking games with my mom kari and skylar(and her water(she still had fun tho)). i got to know kari really good and i like her a lot. it was good to really get to get to know her after a year and a half lol.
bottom line.
i had a really good time and not that i dont love my friends but it was good to get away. im not saying that i didnt run to my computer and kiss it when i got home but you know.
2 weeks.
thats what i keep telling myself. :) :( :? im going throught so many emotions at once(main one being stress). why is the end of the year so stressful? well i have 104 make up hours due on the 30th(f*cked?) not really. o and by the way mom it doesnt help that your in my face every 5 minutes telling me to go do them. IT JUST MAKES IT WORSE. they will get done i just have to apply meself to them and then on top of that little issue i have to make sure im going to pass everything. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF EVERY YEAR? idk. this year I have managed it tho, ive started them more than one weekend before they are due(make up hours). lol. It has been planned. this summer is going to be awesome. i think i am going to get shanita and kait to do something at the OCP with me at the end of the summer just to finish it off. i have to get a job in the next couple of weeks. i really dont mind. i want to have my own money. i HATE asking my mom for money. it really sucks because i get yelled at all the time for spending too much money. i just wanna wait until after school is out and i can stop worrying about my all of this bull crap. WOW my mind is all over the place right now. i need a phone call right now. did i mention that my mom took my phone. i yelled at her because she was getting on my nerves. i am so stuped. i miss james gilbert. i just looked at my piney woods pictures and they made me sad. sky is fixing to go off to college. so is devon. i am sick of loosing all of my friends because they graduate and move on. next year im making friends with 3rd graders. i cant take that anymore. im really on edge. i think i might make myself cry so i can feel better. does that work? probly not... i could always cut myself...lol. that was a joke. it made me laugh tho so i guess it was good. (DISCLAIMER: i IN NO WAY condone self mutilation) OMG another one of my fish is dead। wow। i cant have fish anymore. they are depressing. ok well im out. yall have a good one. im going to get 15 hours done before the night is over.
हवे अ ग्रेट डे।
कैमरों.
here are some old pictures i found in my photobucket.
Today is Tuesday April 08,2008 and I have ADD.
with that said I will begin.
1. life
2. school
3. god
1. so not much is going on with me. lately i am getting frustrated REALLY easy. the other night i went to chili's with Devon Kaitlyn and Shanita. all the close friends. in the 45 minute ride to PA to find somewhere to eat(yes i said 45 minute ride) i went from being(in my opinion) in a good mood to being totally on edge and about to kill some1 with a sonic cup. it started with Devon's keys being gone and him crying for 20 minutes about that. then a debate about how we cant say the "F" word in front of Devon because it offends him(he cant give us a reason). he once again says I NEED MY KEYS. then we FINALLY get to a restaurant that we all agree on and as Devon gets out of the car. Shanita pulls Devon's keys out of her console. I ALMOST KILLED HER. well we go in the restaurant and they are closed. TAKE NOTE: we couldn't eat applebee's because Kaitlyn had some bad experiences. we couldn't eat seafood of Chinese because its of the devil. no Mexican because of Devon(really important(the other three of us are all up for Mexican)) Shanita doesn't really care. we finally just say chili's and we go in sit down to order and Devon says I'm just gunna get desert(I SWEAR TO JESUS IF I WOULDN'T HAVE LITTERED THAT SONIC CUP OUT THE WINDOW). i was in a really pissy mood now. well i realized that was because i hadn't had food since the night before. but the lesson in this was these people were really great friends. i love them, and i would never kill them.
2. the days are getting longer and longer. School is dragging along with only 2 months left. i hate the end of the year(well i hate the whole year but the end is the worse) because we have spring break and then the not another day off until the end of the year. I'm tired. i don't want to go back next year. I'm thinking home school or GED. not really. my mom would never let me get a GED and i dint think i want one either. it would suck to have made it in school for 12 years and then just throw it all away. but home school...definitely an option.
3. i had a nice talk at chili's with mainly Kaitlyn and Shanita... its funny what a lack of eating makes you learn about yourself. so it all started with the thought "i should go to church". i dint think i like what church is. went to second baptist for 5 years and in about a month all of that was over. i love God and i know that God loves me. I KNOW that isn't enough... its just hard. i was Pentecostal for a the majority of my life and i learned things then i stopped believing in god. then i started the whole baptist thing. and now I'm looking for some other type of closure. i miss it. i think i used second as a safety blanket. for the last year and a half it just seemed to fall apart. i remember when we would have to sit on the floor in youth because there were so many people and then we went to having 4 people there on a regular night. it was sad to see it like that. it just wasn't meant to be. I'm just lost i guess and to be totally honest I'm not really looking to be found until i decide what i need to be found by.
that's all.
SOO...this is just an update. nothing important
im watching George Lopez. obviously. i have no idea why im here{the blog}. i just looked up and saw that i was here. and while im here i might as well post something. lets see what has been going on lately. im 17 now. i went my entire 16th year without getting a job. thats bad. im going to wait and find out what happens Wednesday before i apply anywhere. im going to start with the big MB. i have a lot of friends that work there and they all tell me hey come get a job here. and i already have the shirt. skylar is coming over this weekend(i think). i think she has become my best friend. i mean she is my cousin and everythng. IDK. we just hang out a lot more than i do with anyone else. i kinda want to make a video blog. i might do that tomorrow. i really need to clean my room tomorrow i've been cleaning it for like a month now. it will never get clean. we are fixing to start painting it. its going to be a lot of black but not in a creepy goth way... STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN IS REALLY TRIPPY. i guess it could be because I've heard all of the subliminal messaging that is in it. but is cool. i dont believe all that crap. its just people adding that crap in. i walked to sonic today. it was fun. its really convenient having it right there. i think everyone needs to get a twitter. its really good to have. it will help you get through the long days. go there now. TWITTER.com. ok well im going to go now. have a good day everyone.
cameron.
