Im Just Cameron. This is my Blog.

So today was a good day. i went to school and i kinda felt sick all day, but its cool.
I wanted to go to the fair with sky but i cant. (IM HER BEST FRIEND)...lol. Ill put a link to her on the little side thing *thanks leigh*. i have to go to with my mom to get haileys pictures taken for soccor tho. that should be fun. *did i mention how im a smart elic(i dont know how to spell elic)* anyway.

IF YOU WILL NOTICE. MY TITLES HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH MY BLOGS!!!

people get offended.
anyway. that all. have a good day and i will try to post again soon.

Just Cameron.

I haven't done this in a long time. I read all of my old blogs today and I realized that I only post blogs when I'm in a bad mood. I should change that.

This is more of an update on my life.

Its 12 and I should be sleeping. But I'm not tired. I'll regret it in the morning...

So today I finished transferring my blog from myspace to blogger. Simply because its alot easier on me. I finished my final layout today. Ill put a link at the bottom. I wont put it up until after Halloween because right now I have my Halloween layout on. I'm just going to keep fixing things because its the first one of its kind that I have made. I want it to be perfect before I put it up. I was absent today. Don't worry. Its not an everyday thing like it use to be. I have an excuse.

Kso. Ive been thinking. I don't really take change well. I mean people move on and go there separate ways and I have learned that now but I keep thinking about what I am going to do with the rest of my life. I want to move to Dallas after I graduate and go to school there but i really don't know how I can do that. I love Stepford. Its everything i have ever know. I know its this little dinky but crack of Texas town *in my opinion* but I think I would be totally lost if i lived anywhere else. That's not a little change. That's a totally 100% change. I have to take it in little bits.

Anyway. That's all I have to say. I just thought I should post something. It has been a couple of months. Well have a good one.

PS. For reasons that i wont go into i cant have this set to private so i say that I'm from stepford. I'm not really. anyway. that's all.

Just Cameron.

So I have a lot on my mind and I have to get it out of there...

as 1 more year in the hell hole that is know as BCHS is about to start I am saddened. It's not fun. And as if that isn't bad enough I get to start it with no people to help me out. James, Leigh, Lyndsie, Blake and now Danny are all leaving. All going to places that will be better for them (and that's great) but it is starting to become more real every day. EVERY1 IS GONE. And I am not happy about it. I didn't have a good night tonight. It was really crappy. I had a breakdown of sorts. Everything was going out of order and no1 was there for me. Sky was at her grandmas and Blake was sleeping I didn't know who else to turn to. then everything started to get worse and Blake finally woke up so I got to talk to her and I get yelled at some more and it really got bad-my throat started to close up and I couldn't breeth-Blake made me get off the phone and go outside and walk around.-I got really dizzy and threw up-now I have a good life. I get pretty much everything that I ask for but I want a lot more. Not possessions because I could have everything in the world and I still wouldn't be happy. I don't know what I want (I guess it wouldn't be a bad thing if every1 didn't leave me) lol. I saw Brittany Porter and Austin Bellaire at market basket. They made me feel bad because it reminded me of that part of my life that ended in a pretty messy way. I want them back. But I guess I can't get that. So now I'm just going to sit here in my room and wait for some1 to call.

Have a good day.

...Cameron...

sick of circling the same road,
sick of bearing the guilt
so open the windows to cool off,
and heat pours in instead
im perfect in weakness. im only
perfect in just your strength alone
all my efforts to clean me leave me putrid and filthy
and how can you look at me when i can't stand myself
--flyleaf

So I'm sitting in my room, it's like 9 in the morning and of course im pondering...o the dreaded ponder. I can't sleep lately. There is just something about 5:23 in the morning that wakes me up. No matter what time I go to sleep I wake up at 5:23. It sucks. Come to think of it I didn't go to bed until around 12 yesterday and I woke up at 5:23 pm. hmm something weird about that. Anyway I haven't bogged in a long time. I need to talk about a lot of stuff. I just don't know what it is. I need some1 to sit with me and just let me talk for a couple of hours. I need a shrink. Ha. That would be different. With my luck I would get their and they would tell me that I'm insane and I have to be placed in a really gross colored padded room. Like pee green. Or black. It is my favorite color but I couldn't live in a black room for the rest of my life. Wow I get off topic REALLY easy. SO. My phone is broke. Badly. it started making a really loud noise and it wouldn't stop so I took the battery out and put it back in and it just didn't turn back on. My mom is ordering my new one on Friday. It'll be good to have verizon because every1 else does. I hate centennial. I'm ready for pineywoods. I have gotten to the point where I am tired all the time. Frustrated and pissed off REALLY easy. Maybe I'm pregnant. That's impossible in more than one way. i am sick of looking back on my life al the time and thinking wow i have changed so much and its never a change for the better...i read all of my old blogs and they all say the same thing, that i have fallen and i need to get back up. it seem like a repeting thing that never stops. maybe one day it will? i want it to stop but it seems so hard. im sick of chasing a temporary high all the time. i want the real thing.

ANYWAY...I'm ready to get I'm license. I have my explorer and I want the plastic to let me drive it. I'm kind of hungry. I want to go back to sleep but I cant. I need a refresher course for life. Kind of Like reformatting. OMG, IS IT JUST ME OR WOULD THAT BE AWESOME. Maybe not, if your mistakes make you who you are then I like my mistakes. I'm going to stop writing this blog. Go get some green tea. Peace out homes.

wo...this is really short

...cameron...

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,I
f you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling